Firstly, I must apologize.

I must apologize to those incredible supporters, not only monetarily, but also through their words of encouragement and outpouring of love.

I apologize to you because I have allowed the negative few to impact me more than I should. Your actions alone have helped me feel worlds better when I was told I should be out for much longer and then I let the words of a few set me back. I have been experiencing feelings of sadness and anger, on and off, for the last day and I'm finally done with it.

Determination, that's what I have. To those of you that continue to belittle my efforts and undermine the efforts of those that support me through your talk of 'fashionable causes' and 'government and medical conspiracies' I refuse to let your cynicism denounce the positivity that has been shown by this community.

It must be understood that this is not a corporate affair. The administration and volunteer staff that sport the pink journals or run the pink themed contests, are doing so in support of me and my cause. If I were raising awareness and funds for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, the result would be the same, so for people to insult them for their efforts, is not only a slap in the face to them, but to me directly.

Aside from that, this is a personal cause for me. I am no friend to Cancer. My mother is a two time cancer survivor, my grandmother had cervical, breast and finally died of lung cancer. My great uncle had breast cancer, my second cousin died of colon cancer, my great aunt died of leukemia, my great aunt had breast cancer.. and why even go on.

I experienced my grandmothers trials first hand. I stood by helpless as it riddled her body and I watched it destroy her spirit. I held her as her final breath left her body. I refuse to be helpless anymore. For those that want to explain their conspiracy theories and their 'fad disease' ideas, this is not the place. I've lost my patience. I do what I do because I need hope. I need to not feel helpless anymore. I have donated money to various charities, I have volunteered time and I will continue to do whatever I can because I need to feel like I am making a difference.

You can tell me that one person can't make a difference but I have met many people in my life that have made a tremendous impact on me and it is my duty as a human being to give that feeling back to however many I can.

So no, I won't stand here complaining about the unfairness in the government or the corruption in the medical industry. If it takes me 40 million steps to get to one person, then so long as I can walk I will take them because I don't care about the cynicism, I care about using the little time I've been granted in this lifetime to make a difference somewhere. Perhaps my idealism offends you, perhaps it makes me appear naive but until you have stared at death, you will not understand the power of hope, and I very much want a part of that. This is who I am, and no streams of negativity or 'brutal honesty' will change that. I will continue to be the 'bleeding heart' so get off my rainbow if you don't agree with me.

Cynicism is not welcome here, positivity can come right in.